It’s quite normal for young children to be messy. Their clothes aren’t always clean or neatly tucked in after playing, jumping and rolling around, their toys make an obstacle course all over the house and when they eat, they mess up not just the table and the floor, but also their faces, hands and sometimes their hair.

It’s exasperating when you know you have to do extra work cleaning up spilled food and smeared gravy. Meal times can be stressful, when you see that most of the food you have so painstakingly prepared, has landing everywhere except in their stomachs.

But what if we told you that being messy is absolutely necessary for their development and that it’s alright for children to play with their food because they can learn so much from it?

Why Messy Eating Happens

Children learn how to swallow soft foods like porridge and purees by the time they are six months old − the age when they start weaning. At this time, you will do the spoon-feeding. However, by the time they are 12 to 14 months old[1], they would be eager to hold the spoon, and of course, copy what you do when you are feeding them. Of course, there will be lots of misses, spills and smears as they try to dip the spoon, scoop and attempt to put it in their mouths. They may also use their hands to feel and hold their food. You may feel aghast at the mess but allow them to make it as they are learning to feed themselves.

By two to three years of age, depending on their hand-eye coordination, children will usually be keen to feed themselves and be independent, even though they may not be very neat about it. Learning to self-feed is an on-going process that goes on for years. They may also be able to use chopsticks by then, although the mean age for children to have the ability to use chopsticks is around 4.6 years old[2].

Whether using a fork and spoon, chopsticks or eating by hand, fine motor skills and muscle control and dexterity are needed for the task. Children have to use a combination of the thumb and finger pinch, apply the right amount of pressure on the utensil, and rotate the wrist, forearm and shoulder to bring the food to the mouth. Finger grasps and hand strength which involve these fine motor skills develop at around one and a half to two years old and go on improving as the child grows older.

Along the way, they will play with their food, touch this and that and drop food outside of their plates. Let them get messy because − believe it or not − it will benefit them. Here are additional reasons why you should allow them to make a mess when they are eating.

1: Eating is a Sensory Learning Experience

Apart from learning how to use utensils, eating solid food is in itself a new experience. Each different type of food comes with its own texture, taste, smell, colour and even temperature. Each type of food will require a different chewing technique. For instance, a piece of papaya will have a different texture and taste and will require less chewing than a piece of chicken nugget. For the mouth, it is a sensory skill which they will learn as they get familiar with the food.

Before it goes into the mouth though, children will want to use their fingers to pick up and hold their food, maybe squish them, dip them in sauce or drop them just to see what will happen. It’s their way of experimenting with their food and “discovering” it before putting it in their mouth.

This kind of tactile sensory play can help children process information about the food. It will teach them not just how to bring food from the hand to their mouths and grasp small pieces with the fingers, but also how to bite, chew and use their tongue to move food around the mouth. These oral motor skills will help them with speech later on. Yes, chewing is important for speech development[3] and handling food and utensils develops their fine motor skills[4].

2: Teaches independence and Self-Feeding skills

Allowing them to get comfortable and engaged with what they are about to put into their mouths will help develop fine motor skills and hand-eye coordination.

Children always copy what their parents do. By the age of one, when they are better at their gross motor movements, they will want hold the spoon by themselves and dip it in the bowl to scoop. At this stage, it is likely they will smear the food all over their face as they try to aim the spoon into their mouths. Allowing them to get messy and explore all the possibilities with their bowl of food can help them develop their sense of independence and self-confidence. “I can do it too!” they’ll be thinking. At the same time, they learn the mechanics of self-feeding which involves a set of wrist, hand and shoulder movements that will get better coordinated over the months as their brains mature.

Children are encouraged to start learning how to drink from a sippy cup from the age of six months[5]. By the time they are 18 months old, they should be able to hold an open cup with both hands on their own, drink and set the cup back down with some spilling of the liquid. Allow for the splashes as this is a learning process. By the time they reach 30 months old[6], they should be able to hold an open cup with one hand and drink from it without spilling.

3: Averts Picky Eating

Exposure to all kinds of food textures can greatly avert picky eating indirectly. Eating is a sensory experience after all. Allowing children to explore and examine the food’s different shape, colour and texture, lets children learn about the food on their own terms, even if they are licking it, smelling it or squishing the food on their tray. The key is to expose them to a wide variety of foods and let them have a go at it. Because they have thoroughly “tested” the food out, and are curious about it, they are more likely to try and taste these foods.

Young children up to three years old[7] like to mouth things to find out about the object. This plays nicely into getting them to try different types of food.

What You Can Do to Manage Messy Eating

We know it can be daunting to see your child covered in sauce and the highchair totally messed up. To help manage your stress levels and reactions, here are nine tips[8] to help you manage your messy eater.

A: Come to the table expecting to see some mess. That way, you won’t feel so anxious when mess happens. Know that with time, as the child gains better muscle control, the mess will decrease.

B: Use a large piece of plastic or old newspapers and lay these on the floor under the highchair to catch all the food that falls to the ground. To clean up, just throw the plastic or newspaper away.

C: Cut food into strips or fingers for easy pick up. Let your child use their hands.

D: Try long-sleeve cover-all bibs instead of traditional bibs that only cover the chest of the child. The bibs are waterproof and washable and are available in Malaysia.

E: You can also use highchair covers that cover the whole seat and the highchair tray. These are really useful and handy when eating out with the child because the highchairs in restaurants may not be as clean as you would like them to be. You wouldn’t like your child to eat food that has been dropped on these high chairs. Again, the covers are washable and foldable and convenient to carry around. They can also double up as shopping cart seat covers if you want your child to be comfortable and clean sitting in the cart while you shop for groceries.

F: If you don’t want your toddler to stain or spill sauces on a particular outfit, it is best not to let the child wear it during meals. Wear “home only” clothes that you won’t get upset about if they get stained.

G: Use suction plates, trays and bowls. This will keep the plates in place, especially when the child is attempting to feed himself or herself.

H: Keep wet washcloths or towels nearby for cleaning up after they have finished their meal. Don’t wipe them down or scrape their faces with the spoon after every bite because it can be uncomfortable for them. Moreover, it will send the message that “mess is bad” and that mum is upset which makes mealtimes a stressful event. If your child is old enough, you can even have them wipe their own faces and clean their hands with the washcloth. This will give them a bigger sense of autonomy and make mealtimes a success.

I: Sit together and eat as a family during meal times as this lets you lead by example. Show your child how to eat and behave at the table and don’t make a fuss if he makes a mess. It will take sometime before your child learns how to use utensils properly and learn table manners. But you can be sure that day will come.

Morinaga Chil-kid

If you’re worried about how much food is actually going into your children’s mouths while they make a mess with their meals, don’t worry. You can easily ensure they get their daily Recommended Nutrition Intake (RNI) by giving them two servings of Morinaga Chil-kid a day.

Morinaga Chil-kid is a Japanese growing-up milk that is formulated with a balanced ratio of over 45 essential nutrients such as ARA, DHA, Inositol, Omega 3&6 LCPs (Long Chain Polyunsaturated fatty acids), GOS (Galacto-oligosaccharides), five Nucleotides, Protein, Vitamins, Minerals and no added sucrose.

Produced and packed in the Netherlands and double checked for quality adherence, the milk is specially made for Asian children aged one to seven, to support their optimum growth and development during their rapid growing years.