Dr Sonja Lyubomirsky, a professor of psychology at the University of California, who studied happiness for 20 years once said: “People who engage in kind acts become happier over time. When you are kind to others, you feel good as a person – more moral, optimistic, and positive.”
As parents, we want our children to be kind and caring. Not only do we want them to be happier and feel good as a person, we want these values incorporated into their lives as kindness also contributes to a child's self-esteem, well-being, academic performance, and their ability to form strong relationships.
Today’s world needs people who are kind, caring and empathetic. The roots of kindness can be found at home. There are ways that parents can sensitise their children to the needs of others and the importance of empathy.
Children have the capacity for empathy as early as ages 3 or 4. By this age, children start to understand that others have different experiences and emotions, and they begin to associate their emotions with the feelings of others.
However, empathy is a developmental skill. It is learned through social interactions in early childhood all the way through to early adulthood.
Empathy is partially related to the development of the brain’s frontal lobe, which controls things like logical thinking and planning, reading social cues and impulse control. This means empathy fully develops in children around the same time the frontal lobe develops, which is typically around late adolescence or early adulthood.
Here are some ways for how parents can help children cultivate kindness and empathy during their developmental years.
1: Model the Behaviour Yourself
The most important way parents can instil empathy in children is by modelling it themselves.
Use appropriate examples from your own life to exemplify what empathy looks like. For example, if you had a conflict with someone that day, talk about it in a way that shows empathy. Talk through the emotions you felt and the emotions you identified in others. Let your child ask questions and ask questions back to them like "How do you think he was feeling?" or "Why do you think he acted that way?"
You can also model empathy in your interactions with your children and others.
Let’s say your child is whining because she wasn’t ready to leave her friend’s house yet. Instead of snapping, “Stop whining!”, try taking a few deep breaths and practice empathy with a statement like, “You seem disappointed. I know it’s hard to leave when you’re having so much fun.” In fact, empathy may stop the whining much faster than responding with anger or frustration.
If someone cuts you off in traffic, instead of saying something angry, practice empathy by attributing positive intent. “Wow, he’s in a hurry! Maybe he has something really important to do.”
As your children observe your empathy towards others, they will begin to mirror it.
2: Directly Teach Your Children Empathy
You can also directly teach your children empathy. This is most effective when done in context. For instance, let’s say one of your children pushes the other. Before imposing a consequence, you can take a moment to teach empathy.
“See her face? What do you think your sister is thinking right now? Her face is saying that she didn’t like that. Instead of pushing, say excuse me next time.”
Help your children consider the emotions of others with questions like:
Following these steps will develop your child’s ability to consider the feelings of others—and how these feelings are affected by their actions.
3: Identify and Label Emotions
As soon as children are 3 or 4, start asking your child what their body feels like as a way to label emotions. If they're feeling or seem scared, help them identify how this feels in their belly or elsewhere in their body. Making physical connections to feelings helps children label emotions. Then, when they start their early school years, they will better understand what those emotions look like in other people.
4: Read Books that Teach Kindness
Kindness can be learned just like any other skill. However, unless we teach children to be kind, it won't become an integral part of their being.
In order to teach empathy, caring and kindness, you can read relevant storybooks to your children. Some books that teach kindness to children include:
“Have You Filled a Bucket Today” by Carol Have McCloud and “Somebody Loves You, Mr Hatch” by Eileen Spinelli. Both are available on MPH Online and Shopee. Both books teach kindness, not only towards others but also towards themselves and that actions of kindness make one feel good.
Other books that teach children about kindness include: "Last Stop on Market Street" by Matt de la Peña which encourages empathy and gratitude. "The Invisible Boy" by Trudy Ludwig emphasizes the importance of inclusion. "I Walk with Vanessa" by Kerascoët highlights the power of a simple act of kindness. "A Sick Day for Amos McGee" by Eric Litwin reinforces compassion and helping others. All the books come with beautiful illustrations and are suitable for children from ages 4 to 8 with the exception of “Last Stop on Market Street” which is suitable for younger children aged 3 to 5. These books are also available on Shopee.
After reading these books, talk to your children about the message of each story and how they can apply these concepts to their own lives.
Ask questions like, “What are some things we can do to be kind to others?” “Do we know anyone that might need a little extra kindness and love?”
5: Practise Kindness
Take some time out every week to practise small acts of kindness. These could range from volunteering at a shelter to helping someone cross the street, or even helping a relative or friend. Volunteering and helping others help build character, and helps your child be more aware of the people around them. Kindness and good manners can be practised every day at home – encourage your children to say please and thank you, and encourage them to help at home – every little bit counts.
Here are more random acts of kindness that you can do together with your child to encourage generosity and selflessness:
2. Praise Acts of Kindness
Positive reinforcement is a tried and tested teaching method – even for teaching kindness. Each time your child performs an act of kindness, praise them for their selflessness. Not only will it encourage them to continue being kind to others, but praising them will also promote kindness for kindness’ sake.
6: Expose Children to Pets or Animals
Being around pets and animals is a good way to help young children identify emotions and connect with others. Pets naturally display a wide range of emotions through their actions, like tail wagging or coming to greet you when you come home. Children can learn to associate these behaviours with different emotions, such as happiness or fear, and begin to understand how their actions impact a pet's emotional state. This process helps them develop empathy and consider perspectives beyond their own. By observing and interacting with pets, children learn to recognise emotions in others, understand their needs, and practice compassion, ultimately fostering a sense of connection and care.
7: Ask Questions about Conflicts
As your child gets older, parents can help them understand different perspectives in challenging social situations. Once they calm down, keep it curious, not accusatory. Don't ask, “What did you do?” but instead ask, “That sounds like a really intense situation. Any idea what's going on with that other person? It sounds like she had a strong reaction.” Keep the conversation collaborative, not confrontational, to work through the problem.
Morinaga Chil-kid
A new study[1] from the University of Bristol’s ‘Children of the 90s’[2] research project has found that there is a correlation between nutrition and kindness in children. A diet rich in certain nutrients, like those found in fish, may be linked to increased prosocial behaviours like sharing, being kind and helping others. This suggests that the more fish children ate, the more kindness and empathy they showed. As a nutritional powerhouse, seafood is rich in Omega 3-fatty acids, Selenium and Iodine ̶ nutrients essential for brain and behavioural development in children.
These same nutrients can be found in Morinaga Chil-kid alongside 45 other key nutrients. Morinaga Chil-kid is a growing up milk that is packed with carefully-balanced nutrients such as ARA, DHA, Inositol, Omega 3&6 Long-Chain Polyunsaturated Fatty Acids (LCPs), Galacto-oligosaccharides (GOS), 5 Nucleotides, Protein, and 21 vitamins and minerals including Selenium and Iodine. All of these nutrients are designed to support the growth and developmental trajectory of Asian children aged 1 to 7.
Just two servings a day alongside meals, Morinaga Chil-kid helps your children meet their Recommended Nutrient Intake (RNI). This means they will not be short of any nutrients they may need for their daily development and growth.
The fully imported, new and improved Morinaga Chil-kid, with its subtle vanilla taste, features no sucrose and enhanced micronutrients such as Calcium and Vitamin D. The milk is a Japanese formulation that is backed by more than 100 years of R&D and the latest scientific research. It is wholly produced in the Netherlands where it goes through stringent product examinations and a second inspection process in Japan before it is exported to Malaysia.
[1]Nel, L., Emmett, P. M., Golding, J., & Taylor, C. M. (2025). Seafood intake in children at age 7 years and neurodevelopmental outcomes in an observational cohort study (ALSPAC). European Journal of Nutrition, 64(3). https://doi.org/10.1007/s00394-025-03636-7
[2]2025: Fish and prosocial behaviour | Avon Longitudinal Study of Parents and Children | University of Bristol. (2025, March 11). https://www.bristol.ac.uk/alspac/news/2025/seafood-children.html